Lately, I’ve been peppered with the question of “are you going to have more kids?” Maybe it’s because my kids are 5 and 3 and if I were to have another one, now would probably be a good time. But the reality is, I think I’m done. Yes, the decision is between my husband, but ultimately, the decision of whether or not to have kids is with me. I know my husband would love to have more….but I’ve decided that 2 is sufficient.
I really had a difficult time coming to this decision, but I ultimately think it’s the right one. First of all, I had problems with both of my pregnancies…during and after. And I don’t think my body could physically handle a 3rd pregnancy.
Secondly, finances. In order for me to have all 3 kids in daycare, I’d have to pay well over $2,000 a month. With those costs, why work? But I actually really enjoy my career and wish to pursue it. And I honestly don’t think I’m a good full time stay at home mom. I know many that can do it and they’re amazing at it! But I’m not one of those women!
Thirdly, energy. I just don’t have enough. I commute 2.5 hours a day to and from work and picking up the kids. With homework, bath time, lunch packing, laundry, and all the other things that moms do, I just don’t think I could handle a 3rd child. Yes, I have help from my husband, but I really feel that at the end of the day, I need to be able to pursue some of my activities in order to stay sane.
I thought of many other factors and variables. And maybe it sounds terrible to even compare all these items to having a third child in our family. But I would rather think about all these things and make the appropriate decision for our family rather than having a 3rd child and end up resenting them. That would be a much bigger evil.
Many people in my Asian culture don’t understand this, especially since I have 2 girls. “Why don’t you try for a boy? You need to have a boy in your family.” No, I don’t need to have a 3rd child hoping for a boy as I’m very fortunate to have 2 girls that are happy and healthy.
My point to this article is that everybody has their reasons for not having kids or having 1, 2, or maybe many more kids in their family. Whatever your magic number is, it has to be a right decision for your family. Don’t let others decide for you.