The Superwoman is the Stay-at-Home Mom

Before I had children I use to think that the moms that worked and had children were the superWoman. Now that I have done both, there is nothing further from the the truth because it is the stay-at-home mother’s who truly is the ultimate superwoman.

The stay-at-home mom not only has to do all the necessary mommy-duties, which I tell you can get extremely montonous, she never gets a break from her “job” and probably isn’t as appreciated as the career mommy (who gets breaks from others who assume she is tired from working all day). These are just a few things among the obvious reasons, but it’s actually the not-so-obvious, not-so-talked about issues such as self esteem and self worth (or what our western society defines as worth) that I believe what makes the stay-at-home mom the super hero.

You have to give up so much of yourself for what people would define as a woman’s “dream job”. You become the one who is responsible not only for the household upkeep and kid duties, there are no more excuses to fall back on outside of those from homelife. Ultimately you really don’t have as much control as you use to (the issue i have most problems with) because you rely on your partner to fully play his cards right and trust him to do what is expected of him. Let me add in right here that, it is expectations that cause problems and I for one cannot put my all my eggs in the hands of another person, especially financially. Unless you have a super solid relationship/marriage, perfectly planned out where everyone knows their roles and what to expect of each other (yeah right, good luck and yay if you do), then maybe it will be smooth sailing as a stay-at-home mom, but if you are like me you will want to have a piece of yourself that is just for you and not your family (though of course, ultimately everything is for them anyhow!), then being the stay-at-home mom is the ultimate selfless sacrifice in my opinion.

I plan on being “mostly” a stay-at-home mom (who works on her own business part-time as work comes in), so I can be around to not miss out on my children’s most formative years and be there to see them grow. I hate thinking that I will miss out and have to look back one day and think “Oh my god, I’m old and you are all grown up and I missed it all!” During their younger years, I think we need to sacrifice money for time/memories because once it is over, you just can’t get those times back.

Most of us can’t afford to live if we are not working (some can’t afford to go to work…depending on how many kids you have & your situation), so I guess this is why some believe that being a stay-at-home mom is like a dream. Those that want to be a stay at home mom must not have kids yet or just haven’t lived it to know what it’s like! I haven’t lived it “fully” myself and I am saying how hard it is and my hats are off to them.

Finances aren’t the only, or even the biggest, reason for a parent to stay home and care for the children. You never get raises, no sick days, very little to no adult interaction and you miss out on the getting-ready, need nice clothes and shoes, look pretty for a meeting times. After a while, you really succumb to the “mommy-look” and i guess what people would refer to as “she let yourself go”, because well, all you really need sometimes to get through the day is a teeth brushing in the morning and something to tie up your hair (i didn’t want to say scrunchie)… and not because you don’t want to look your best (although this might be the case cause you just can’t be bothered), it’s also because you might not have time to take that shower or put on something nice because you know you can’t bend well to pick up your baby in a pencil skirt and heels and it’s going to get dirty anyhow… so might as well stick to the sweat pants again.

Your kids love you no matter what and for those who think that going back to work is bad for your kids, statistically it actually show the opposite. Kids are better off with more people who love and nurture them (quality care) and mom’s are better off having a life aside from their family life. I’m not saying, you need to work to do something for yourself, that is just my outlet, but I think in order for mom’s to really function properly you need to do things for yourself so that you keep your personal value and interests alive.

No one replaces mom, working or not, and with this said, I feel better that I can’t ever just be a stay-at-home mom because I’m mentally not capable of doing it without going insane. So to those that are stay-at-home mom’s, in my eyes, you are the super woman!